Twilight 16. CARLISLE

16. CARLISLEHe led me coering fire to the style that hed pointed break as Carlisles strikeice. He pa expenditured extracurricular the introduction for an instant.Come in, Carlisles voice invited.Ed defend candid the inlet to a high-ceilinged style with t on the whole, westward-facing windows. The jettys were embellish again, in a spicyer wood where they were visible. nearly of the wall space was taken up by towering bookshelves that reached high higher up my head and held more books than Id ever hold tail endn outside a library.Carlisle sat slow a huge mahogany desk in a leather chair. He was expert placing a bookmark in the pages of the thick majority he held. The room was how Id al ways imagined a college deans would look only Carlisle looked too teen to fit the part.What can I do for you? he asked us pleasantly, rising from his seat.I insufficiencyed to show Bella some(prenominal) of our history, Edward said. Well, your history, truly.We didnt close to disturb you, I apologized. no. at all. Where argon you going to start?The Wagg unmatchabler, Edward replied, placing bingle glide by lightly on my articulatio humeri and spinning me around to look mainstay toward the brinkstep wed notwithstanding come with. all(prenominal) time he moved(p) me, in even the most casual way, my meaning had an audible reaction. It was more embarrassing with Carlisle at that place.The wall we faced now was different from the new(prenominal)s. or else of bookshelves, this wall was crowded with framed pictures of all sizes, some in vibrant colors, opposites fatigue monochromes. I searched for some logic, some fecundation motif the collection had in common, merely I implant nonhing in my hasty examination.Edward pulled me toward the far left side, stand up me in bet of a underage squ atomic number 18 oil painting in a plain wooden frame. This one did non stand out among the bigger and graphicer pieces painted in varying tones of sep ia, it interpret a miniature city entire of steeply slanted roofs, with thin spires a rumpsheesh a few scattered towers. A roomy river filled the foreground, crossed by a bridge cover with structures that looked penury tiny cathedrals.capital of the United Kingdom in the sixteen-fifties, Edward said.The London of my youth, Carlisle added, from a few feet hind end us. I flinched I hadnt heard him approach. Edward squeezed my hand.Will you distinguish the story? Edward asked. I twisted a light uptle to see Carlisles reaction.He met my peek and grimaced. I would, he replied. save Im actually hurry a number late. The infirmary called this morning Dr. Snow is taking a sick day. Besides, you know the stories as well up as I do, he added, grin at Edward now.It was a strange faction to absorb the e actuallyday concerns of the t aver pertain stuck in the middle of a word of his early days in seventeenth-century London.It was excessively unsettling to know that he spoke clamorously only for my benefit.After another untoughened smile for me, Carlisle left the room.I stared at the little picture of Carlisles hometown for a presbyopic moment.What put crosswiseed and so? I finally asked, stare up at Edward, who was watching me. When he accomplished what had happened to him?He glanced back to the paintings, and I looked to see which image caught his inte heartsease now. It was a larger landscape in dampen fall colors an empty, shadowed meadow in a forest, with a cragged peak in the distance.When he knew what he had become, Edward said quietly, he rebelled against it. He time-tested to destroy himself. But thats not comfortably done.How? I didnt mean to say it aloud, entirely the word broke through my shock.He jumped from great heights, Edward told me, his voice impassive. He assay to drown himself in the ocean entirely he was young to the new life, and very strong. It is amazing that he was able to change course feeding while he was hold upless so new. The instinct is more the right way and so, it takes over everything. But he was so repelled by himself that he had the strength to castigate to kill himself with starvation.Is that possible? My voice was kick the bucket.No, there are very few ways we can be killed.I opened my mouth to ask, exclusively he spoke in the first place I could.So he grew very hungry, and eventually weak. He strayed as far as he could from the benevolent populace, recognizing that his departpower was weakening, too. For months he wandered by night, quest the loneliest places, averse(p)ing himself.One night, a herd of deer passed his hiding place. He was so wild with thirst that he attacked without a view. His strength re morose and he genuinelyized there was an alternative to being the vile giant star he feared. Had he not eaten venison in his former life? Over the conterminous months his new philosophy was born. He could go without being a demon. He show himself again. He began to make better use of his time. Hed always been intelligent, eager to learn. Now he had unlimited time before him. He analyze by night, planned by day. He swam to France and -He swam to France?People smooth the Channel all the time, Bella, he reminded me patiently.Thats true, I guess. It just sounded funny in that context. Go on.Swimming is unaccented for us -Everything is easy for you, I griped.He waited, his demonstration amused.I wont interrupt again, I promise.He chuckled darkly, and undone his sentence. Because, technically, we dont need to breathe.You -No, no, you promised. He laughed, putting his unheated finger lightly to my lips. Do you want to hear the story or not?You cant spring something the likes of that on me, and hence run me not to say anything, I mumbled against his finger.He lifted his hand, moving it to rest against my neck. The speed of my heart reacted to that, just now I persisted.You dont pay to breathe? I demanded.No, its not necessary. Ju st a ha figure. He shrugged.How long can you go without breathing?Indefinitely, I suppose I dont know. It determines a bit uncomfortable being without a backbone of smell.A bit uncomfortable, I echoed.I wasnt paying anxiety to my own expression, moreover something in it made him grow somber. His hand dropped to his side and he stood very quiet, his eye clunk intent on my face. The silence lengthened. His features were nonmotile as stone.What is it? I whispered, bordering his frozen face.His face s practicallyed under my hand, and he sighed. I keep waiting for it to happen.For what to happen?I know that at some point, something I tell you or something you see is going to be too more than. And then youll run away from me, screaming as you go. He smiled half a smile, exclusively his look were serious. I wont gag lawyou. I want this to happen, because I want you to be safe. And yet, I want to be with you. The cardinal desires are impossible to reconcile He trailed off, st aring at my face. Waiting.Im not running anywhere, I promised.Well see, he said, glad again.I frowned at him. So, go on Carlisle was swimming to France.He paused, getting back into his story. Reflexively, his eyes flickered to another picture the most shrill of them all, the most ornately framed, and the largest it was twice as wide as the door it hung near to. The canvas overflowed with bright figures in swirling robes, writhing around long pillars and off stain balconies. I couldnt tell if it represented Hellenic mythology, or if the characters floating in the clouds supra were meant to be biblical.Carlisle swam to France, and continued on through Europe, to the universities there. By night he studied medicine, science, medicine and unaffectionate-base his calling, his penance, in that, in saving human lives. His expression became awed, just close to reverent. I cant adequately describe the make do it took Carlisle two centuries of torturous effort to holy his self- control. Now he is all entirely immune to the scent of human blood, and he is able to do the work he loves without agony. He palpates a great mickle of peace there, at the hospital Edward stared off into space for a long moment. abruptly he seemed to recall his purpose. He tapped his finger against the huge painting in front of us.He was studying in Italy when he discover the others there. They were much more cultivate and educated than the wraiths of the London sewers.He touched a comparatively sedate quad of figures painted on the highest balcony, looking pop outwards calmly on the mayhem under them. I examined the grouping carefully and realized, with a startled laugh, that I recognized the golden-haired man.Solimena was greatly inspired by Carlisles friends. He often painted them as gods, Edward chuckled. Aro, Marcus, Caius, he said, indicating the other three, two black-haired, one snowy-white. Nighttime patrons of the arts.What happened to them? I wondered aloud, my f ingertip hovering a centimeter from the figures on the canvas.Theyre still there. He shrugged. As they pass been for who knows how umpteen millennia. Carlisle stayed with them only for a short time, just a few decades. He greatly admired their civility, their refinement, only when they persisted in onerous to cure his aversion to his natural fare source, as they called it. They tried to persuade him, and he tried to persuade them, to no avail. At that point, Carlisle decided to try the New World. He dreamed of bugger offing others like himself. He was very lonely, you see.He didnt find anyone for a long time. But, as monsters became the stuff of pantywaist tales, he found he could move with unsuspecting humans as if he were one of them. He began practicing medicine. But the gild he craved evaded him he couldnt luck familiarity.When the influenza epidemic hit, he was functional nights in a hospital in Chicago. Hed been turning over an idea in his mind for several days, and he had nearly decided to act since he couldnt find a companion, he would create one. He wasnt absolutely sure how his own rendering had occurred, so he was hesitant. And he was loath to steal anyones life the way his had been stolen. It was in that frame of mind that he found me. there was no hope for me I was left in a ward with the dying. He had nursed my parents, and knew I was alone. He decided to tryHis voice, nearly a whisper now, trailed off. He stared unseeingly through the west windows. I wondered which images filled his mind now, Carlisles memories or his own. I waited quietly.When he turned back to me, a gentle angels smile lit his expression.And so weve come full circle, he concluded.Have you always stayed with Carlisle, then? I wondered. about always. He put his hand lightly on my waist and pulled me with him as he walked through the door. I stared back at the wall of pictures, wondering if I would ever get to hear the other stories.Edward didnt say any more as we walked down the hall, so I asked, Almost?He sighed, seeming reluctant to answer. Well, I had a typical bout of unmanageable adolescence about ten years afterwards I was born created, whatever you want to call it. I wasnt sold on his life of abstinence, and I resented him for curbing my appetite. So I went off on my own for a time.Really? I was intrigued, quite a than frightened, as I perhaps should bring been.He could tell. I vaguely realized that we were headed up the next flight of stairs, but I wasnt paying much attention to my surroundings.That doesnt repulse you?No.Why not?I guess it sounds landable.He barked a laugh, more loudly than before. We were at the top of the stairs now, in another panel hallway.From the time of my new birth, he murmured, I had the advantage of knowing what everyone around me was thinking, both human and non-human alike. Thats why it took me ten years to defy Carlisle I could read his perfective sincerity, understand exactly why he lived the w ay he did.It took me only a few years to return to Carlisle and perpetrate to his vision. I thought I would be exempt from the depression that accompanies a conscience. Because I knew the thoughts of my prey, I could pass over the bleak and pursue only the evil. If I followed a murderer down a dark alley where he stalked a young girl if I deliver her, then surely I wasnt so terrible.I shivered, imagining only too clearly what he described the alley at night, the frightened girl, the dark man behind her. And Edward, Edward as he hunted, terrible and empyreal as a young god, unstoppable. Would she nurse been grateful, that girl, or more frightened than before?But as time went on, I began to see the monster in my eyes. I couldnt escape the debt of so much human life taken, no matter how justified. And I went back to Carlisle and Esme. They welcomed me back like the prodigal. It was more than I deserved.Wed come to a stop in front of the last door in the hall.My room, he informe d me, chess opening it and pulling me through.His room faced south, with a wall-sized window like the great room below. The whole back side of the ingleside must be glass. His view looked down on the winding Sol Duc River, across the untouched forest to the Olympic chew range. The mountains were much closer than I would have believed.The western wall was completely covered with shelf after shelf of CDs. His room was better stocked than a music store. In the corner was a sophisticated-looking sound system, the kind I was afraid to touch because Id be sure to break something. There was no bed, only a wide and inviting black leather sofa. The floor was covered with a thick goldencarpet, and the walls were hung with dull fabric in a slenderly darker shade.Good acoustics? I guessed.He chuckled and nodded.He picked up a remote and turned the stereo on. It was quiet, but the soft steer number sounded like the band was in the room with us. I went to look at his mind-boggling music col lection.How do you have these organized? I asked, unable to find any rhyme or reason to the titles.He wasnt paying attention.Ummm, by year, and then by personal preference inwardly that frame, he said absently.I turned, and he was looking at me with a unmated expression in his eyes.What?I was lively to feel relieved. Having you know about everything, not needing to keep secrets from you. But I didnt expect to feel more than that. I like it. It makes me happy. He shrugged, smiling slightly.Im glad, I said, smiling back. Id worried that he might sorrow telling me these things. It was good to know that wasnt the case.But then, as his eyes dissected my expression, his smile faded and his forehead creased.Youre still waiting for the running and the screaming, arent you? I guessed.A faint smile touched his lips, and he nodded.I hate to burst your bubble, but youre rightfully not as scarey as you think you are. I dont find you scary at all, actually, I lied casually.He stopped, raisi ng his eyebrows in blatant disbelief. thusly he flashed a wide, wicked smile.You really shouldnt have said that, he chuckled.He growled, a low sound in the back of his throat his lips curled back over his perfect teeth. His body shifted suddenly, half-crouched, tense like a lion about to pounce.I backed away from him, glaring.You wouldnt.I didnt see him leap at me it was much too fast. I only found myself suddenly airborne, and then we crashed onto the sofa, knocking it into the wall. whole the while, his arms formed an crusade henhouse of protection around me I was and jostled. But I still was gasping as I tried to right myself.He wasnt having that. He curled me into a ball against his chest, holding me more securely than iron chains. I glared at him in alarm, but he seemed well in control, his raise relaxed as he grinned, his eyes bright only with humor.You were saying? he growled playfully.That you are a very, very terrifying monster, I said, my sarcasm marred a bit by my breathless voice.Much better, he approved.Um. I struggled. Can I get up now?He just laughed.Can we come in? a soft voice sounded from the hall.I struggled to free myself, but Edward merely readjusted me so that I was somewhat more conventionally pose on his lap. I could see it was Alice, then, and Jasper behind her in the doorway. My cheeks burned, but Edward seemed at ease.Go ahead. Edward was still chuckling quietly.Alice seemed to find nothing uncommon in our embrace she walked almost danced, her movements were so graceful to the center of the room, where she folded herself sinuously onto the floor. Jasper, however, paused at the door, his expression a trifle shocked. He stared at Edwards face, and I wondered if he was tasting the glory with his unusual sensitivity.It sounded like you were having Bella for lunch, and we came to see if you would share, Alice announced.I stiffened for an instant, until I realized Edward was grinning whether at her comment or my response, I c ouldnt tell.Sorry, I dont believe I have exuberant to spare, he replied, his arms holding me recklessly close.Actually, Jasper said, smiling despite himself as he walked into the room, Alice says theres going to be a real storm tonight, and Emmett wants to play ball. Are you feeble?The words were all common enough, but the context confused me. I gather that Alice was a bit more original than the weatherman, though.Edwards eyes lit up, but he hesitated.Of course you should bring Bella, Alice chirped. I thought I saw Jasper throw a quick glance at her.Do you want to go? Edward asked me, excited, his expression vivid.Sure. I couldnt disappoint such a face. Um, where are we going?We have to wait for big H to play ball youll see why, he promised.Will I need an umbrella?They all three laughed aloud.Will she? Jasper asked Alice.No. She was positive. The storm will hit over town. It should be dry enough in the clearing.Good, then. The enthusiasm in Jaspers voice was catching, naturall y. I found myself eager, rather than scared stiff.Lets go see if Carlisle will come. Alice bounded up and to the door in a way of life that would break any ballerinas heart.Like you dont know, Jasper teased, and they were fleetly on their way. Jasper managed to inconspicuously close the door behind them.What will we be vie? I demanded.You will be watching, Edward clarified. We will be playing baseball.I involute my eyes. Vampires like baseball?Its the American pastime, he said with mock solemnity.